2014 Movies

I haven't written a blog post in forever, but I have found myself talking a lot about movies lately, and since I have a bit of free time, I thought I'd write a little something about it.

I didn't give myself a movie goal this year - good thing because I am NOT on pace to match the last two years at all. But just in case you were looking for something to watch during some free time in these last few days of the year, or were wondering what my thoughts were on some 2014 releases, or like to see me make lists, I've jotted down my thoughts on the non-Hallmark/Lifetime movies I've seen this year. My favs are highlighted. (I have linked to the trailers for all, in case you're interested.)

Silver celebration

I call it birthday fish stew.

Today is my stepmother's birthday. I'm not going to out how old she is or anything - that would be rude, but I will say that this year marks the 25th anniversary of our relationship. Coincidentally, June marked the 25th anniversary of her marriage to my Dad. Funny how that happened. Anyway, feeling inspired in honor of her special day, and a very fruitful visit to the farmer's market, I made a variation of the Brazilian fish stew she loves and taught me to make, moqueca. And after that deliciousness, I decided I needed to write this post.

My stepmother came into my life when I was a teenager. I don't think I was particularly horrible, I wasn't super rebellious or much of a troublemaker, but I was a teenage girl: adults just didn't UNDERSTAND, change was THE WORST, and UGH YOU ARE EMBARRASSING ME. Also: I was an only child, and the "princess" of a man who was widowed when I was less than a year old.  So you know, she had her work cut out for her.

Our relationship was a bit rocky at first - when my father told me they were getting married, I acted out the only way my not-all-that-rebellious-or-tortured-self knew how: I got up from the table and walked over to the cheap jewelry place to get a third and fourth piercing on my right ear. (Conveniently, my father had taken me to an eatery at the mall to break the news.) Being a moody, hormonal teenager, I kept vacillating between trying to like this woman who my father so obviously cared for, and wanting to kick her to the curb. There were a lot of ups and downs at first since she and I are both opinionated and strong-willed and were marking our territory, but even early on, a lot clicked. We both like to cook and love kitchen gadgets. (We can spend hours in a Sur la Table.) We both love makeup. (I need to introduce her to the wonders of Ulta.) We love to sing along (off-key) to our favorite songs. We have a similar sense of humor. And we both love my father.

Me moving away to college and growing up helped our relationship A LOT, but you know what I think finally bonded us for life? Our crazy families. Maybe one day I will feel comfortable enough to post on the internet some of my wacky family stories, but let's just say, there is comedy GOLD to be had. I mean, my grandmother alone could be a sitcom. (It would have to be on cable though, because we're talking dark comedy here.) Anyway, her horrified reaction matched mine upon finding out that my grandmother sneakily set me up to go see a nun shrink (and by that I mean a nun who was a therapist - long story, worthy of more that one episode), and I knew definitively that my stepmother cared for me. Shared tears/outrage over less-than-happy family reunions solidified the two of us as family. Not by blood, but by choice. So although she didn't raise me from birth, she is my parent. I seek and value her advice and approval. Her opinion matters to me. (Except perhaps about politics - we agree to disagree on a lot there.)

My stepmother is a fabulous lady. She has a fantastic fashion sense, along with a collection of shoes, that I envy. She has great taste, is generous, is fun to travel with, has a sweet tooth that rivals my own, and a go-getter energy level that can be exhausting to watch. I hope she has an awesome birthday today. We live in different countries and I won't be seeing her for a few months - but I do have a little something for her in honor of our silver anniversary when I do.

With my fabulous stepmother earlier this year. (She's the one
with a normal sized head that can wear hats.) ;-)

Beauty hacks

A friend's recent FB post recommending using oil to cleanse your face reminded me of all the "non-traditional" beauty items I've heard about over the years - items you normally find in your kitchen, or perhaps your medicine cabinet. She mentioned it would be nice to have a page with all these beauty secrets, so I thought I'd quickly jot down a post of all the ones I have tried, and recommend.

• Oil cleansing: I use jojoba oil I buy at Trader Joe's for removing makeup - it's great, especially at melting off eye makeup. Extra virgin olive oil works too. (And it's something you may likely already have in your cupboard.) I have super oily skin so the idea of rubbing oil on my face seemed counter intuitive, but it really works, and does not break me out. If anything, I think it has helped normalize my oil production. I simply put oil in a pump bottle, and use a pump or two to rub all over my face, gently going over eye area, then rinse with water. I still use a mild cleanser after though - the oil is just for makeup removal. 
• Other uses for oils: I use coconut oil as a hair mask on the regular - just put on dry hair and leave on for about 20 minutes before washing hair. (Kind of makes you crave an Almond Joy while you're wearing it though.) I also mix coconut oil with granulated sugar as a body scrub - works well, and leaves skin moisturized. A little jojoba oil is great to smooth dry/frizzy hair as well, and works wonders smoothed into cuticles. 
• Non traditional mattifier: Bear with me here, but I'm recommending milk of magnesia as a beauty product. I don't know who first got the brilliant idea of putting a digestive aid on their face, but they were on to something. I have found it to be an excellent oil-control primer, and whenever I use it under makeup not only am I less shiny, but my makeup lasts much longer. If you're going to try it though, make sure to use the plain unflavored variety. I don't think cherry flavoring will work well with foundation. ;)
• Non traditional face primer: If you thought the milk of magnesia was a weird recommendation, I have an even weirder one: chafing cream as primer. Yeah, I know. I'm not sure who the brave soul who first tried this was, but I know I got the tip from a YouTube beauty guru I enjoy watching, Tati. I like to use primer to smooth out pores and make my makeup last longer, but the high end stuff that really works can be really pricey. Monistat Soothing Care Powder Gel costs $8-$9 at most drugstores, has the same ingredients as face primers that cost triple that amount, and it really works. You just have to get over the fact that you're putting Monistat on your face.
• The many uses of baking soda: make a paste with water and use to cover insect bites - helps control itch and dry up the bites as well. You can also mix in with your regular cleanser to make it an exfoliating cleanser, or use 3 parts baking soda to one part water to make your own exfoliant. You can also sprinkle some in your shoes to avoid stinky feet, add some to your toothpaste to help whiten teeth, and use it as a mouthwash to neutralizer halitosis in a pinch (just one teaspoon in a small cup of water.)
• Foods as beauty products: 
• Avocados are very moisturizing, and make a great hair mask (mix in with some coconut oil for a hair mask that will leave your hair SUPER shiny), and a great face mask (2 tbsp of mashed avocado, 1 tbsp honey, 1 tbsp yogurt and 2 tbsp mashed cucumber make a very nice refreshing mask that is quite cleansing and refines pores.)
• Cool cucumber slices really help de-puff eyes. 
• Manuka honey is like a super food (which I was happy to see sold for awhile at Trader Joe's, and online and at health food stores at a higher price.) It has all kinds of uses: as a digestive aid, to treat infections...but for beauty purposes, it is great as a mask. You can use in the avocado mask I mention above to really help reduce redness and treat acne breakouts (it has antibacterial properties) or use it on its own. (Smooth all over face, leave on about 20 minutes, then rinse off.) I think it tastes a little medicine-y as a sweetener in tea, but it really works wonderfully as a lip balm, mixed with some coconut oil as a intense moisturizer (rub honey/coconut oil mixture on your feet at night, put on some socks, and wake up to soft tootsies), and it makes a great face scrub mixed with milk, sugar, and a little olive oil. (I've read that milk & honey was Cleopatra's beauty secret.)

So those are some of the ones I have tried and recommend - what are some of yours?  I'm sure that there are many, many others - and I welcome any tips/hacks that others have to share. I'm all about multi-purpose!

In appreciation of my Dad

While enjoying an extra helping of blue cheese on the yummy salad I had for lunch the other day, it occurred to me that I used to hate the stuff. I used to call it "Dad's stinky cheese." And then I started thinking about all the other stuff I didn't like as a child but have grown to appreciate as an adult (Brussels sprouts, wine, sensible shoes), and THEN I started thinking about my father, and how it's father's day, and I should tell him how much I've grown to appreciate his stinky cheese. And how much I continue to appreciate HIM.

I have written before how my father was my first model and helped foster my love of beauty products. He's also helped foster my love of reading, an interest in history, and my fascination with pop culture. He's always been on top of the latest gossip - both of the celebrity and non-celebrity variety, and his love of music and musical films has definitely been passed on to me.

What I have grown to appreciate most about my Dad, and I appreciate quite a bit, is his love of a good story. Growing up hearing his yarns would sometimes make my eyes roll, sometimes embarrass me - but you know what? They were never boring. A lot of them had to do with trying to kill/maim/embarrass his younger siblings, some of them had to do with his various jobs and travels, some of them had to do with my mother, and most of them were pretty interesting...the first time I heard them. But you know, I've been alive for four decades, and I could have sworn I've heard all of my father's stories at least a dozen times.

I wonder if my Dad was trying to tell me a story here

Last year during one of my visits home he surprised me though. During a rambling conversation about how DC had changed since he lived here 40+ years ago, he casually mentioned that one time he had tea and scones with Ezra Pound on the grounds at St. Elizabeths Hospital. And I had to stop and say EXCUSE ME WHAT? He was surprised I had heard of Ezra Pound. I was surprised my father had never told this story. I heard him tell the story of impaling his brother with a homemade spear about 50 times, but never this charming story about driving from West Virginia with a family friend to visit with a famous poet.

It was then it dawned on me that my father probably had a ton of stories I had never heard - and probably several of them are way juicier than how he got lice that one time from playing with the kids of the local prostitute. And I needed to tell him how much I enjoy hearing his tales, so hopefully I get to keep peeling at the layers that is the onion of my father's kind-of-fascinating life.

Happy Father's Day.


Meditatio  by Ezra Pound

When I carefully consider the curious habits of dogs
I am compelled to conclude
That man is the superior animal.

When I consider the curious habits of man

I confess, my friend, I am puzzled.

Pop culture obsessed

I have said in the past that I am a makeup geek. Well, low and behold, I have discovered I am not the only one. And that there is not only a website with that name, founded by a fellow makeup-aholic named Marlena, but that they sell makeup! I happened to see an announcement regarding some of their new eyeshadows - and I saw that one of them was called Pop Culture. And it was a beautiful blue/lavender purple color. I knew right then and there I had to get my hands on some of that. I mean, this eyeshadow was obviously made for me: a makeup geek with a pop culture obsession and a weakness for purple.

Clockwise from top left: Cosmopolitan, Cocoa Bear,
 Pop Culture, Barcelona Beach.

Makeup Geek (MUG) eyeshadows are easily compared to MAC - they come in pans about the same size, except MUG shadows cost $5.99 each, and MAC cost like $15. To the right you see I made myself a little quad of MUG eyeshadows since I can't live on pop culture alone. (I am using a $1 ELF compact - I try to be a somewhat frugal addict.) These shadows are BEAUTIFUL. Soft, nicely pigmented, easy to blend, and really long lasting. Over primer (which I always wear now), they've lasted all day on me with minimal fading or creasing, which is amazing. I will definitely be buying more. Best of all, it's a cruelty free brand. :)


So, in honor of my new favorite makeup product, here are some of my current favorite makeup and pop culture/entertainment things:

• Orphan Black - Folks, I am obsessed with this show. I am in awe of Tatiana Maslany's chameleon-like skills in portraying about half a dozen different characters on the regular - fully formed, unique women, who happen to be clones. Love the little bits of humor mixed in with the big mystery (that has to do with science!), and really appreciate Paul's abs. (I am very shallow.)
• Mamrie Hart/You Deserve A Drink: This woman cracks me up on the regular. Love her quirky/weird improv-y Mametown videos, and her punny/funny You Deserve A Drink series, which besides a good laugh, provides some interesting cocktail recipes. Plus she wrote a movie, Camp Takota, and actually got it made, co-starring herself along with two of her best friends (who are also very funny ladies on YouTube.) I have much respect for a woman who will use just about any excuse to bust out a costume and a funny pop culture pun.
• Betty Who - I've played her Slow Dancing EP countless times in the past few weeks. Feeds my love of catchy pop music that is a pleasure to listen to, no guilt involved.
• Hold Still by Nina LaCour - so I think I've moved on from all my dystopian future young adult series to heartbreaking books about young adults dealing with some very real things. (My love of young adult fiction hasn't waned though.) This novel, about a teen dealing with the suicide of her best friend, was gripping, emotional, and at times uncomfortably honest. One of the best of my recent reads - which is saying a bit, because I think I've been on a bit of roll with good reads.
• Stila Smudge Stick waterproof eye liner - my current love is specifically the Mint Julep shade. These puppies are so pigmented and easy to apply, and I love that they are true to the color of the barrel. Plus they really do stay put on the lower lash line for me.
• Milani Brilliant Shine lip gloss in Luminous. Lovely peachy/bronze shade that isn't too sticky and smells a bit like vanilla. It's a nice neutral/natural shade that works well with the pops of color eye looks I've been enjoying wearing. I think it would look really nice with tan/bronzed skin as well. (Something I don't know much about, as I tend to stay pale year-round.)

Those are some of my favs. I'm always on the lookout for new things - if you have any fun pop culture recommendations, I'd love to hear them.

On friendship

I have definitely fallen way behind on my 2014 goal of writing regular/weekly blog posts. Sometimes work and life get in the way of sitting down and writing down things. Especially positive things. I want this blog to be a place where I share and talk about things I like/love/am enjoying, not necessarily a place to vent my inner crazy and air my frustrations. Although I've started about a dozen posts in the past couple of weeks, I have only gotten around to finishing one, and I really want to make an effort to get back on the writing wagon.

Because of stress/inner crazy/frustrations, and after a lovely little birthday visit with my parents, I've been taking stock of the important people in my life. The people I can call/email/text with a stream of consciousness rant, and they will listen. The people who can talk me off a metaphorical ledge. My nearest and dearest. The people who mean the most to me, but also the people I'm hardest on. My family. Many of them aren't blood relations, but we've imprinted on each other, and wherever life leads us, we always circle back together.

I am naturally an introvert, and have never had a very easy time making friends. I've never really been someone with a large social circle. But I've been really lucky that despite my sub-par social skills and hermit tendencies, I've managed to make some really good friends over the years. Friends who have helped me move, who have taken me to the hospital, who have traveled with me, and have provided free therapy. I'd like to think they stick around because it hasn't been all one-sided - I've also helped out during moves, pet-sat, visited hospitals, and sat up all night providing a shoulder to cry on. (Let me tell you, I'm pretty sure having to help one of my BFFs go to the bathroom after she had a surgical procedure made us sisters for life.) I'm not sure what stroke of luck brought these people into my life, but I am thankful they have chosen to stick around.

There have been friends who I have lost touch with over the years, and I often think of them. Some I drifted away from, some drifted away from me, and some just seemed to have fizzled. Living thousands of miles apart doesn't help to nurture a friendship, and sometimes, as you grow up, you grow apart. But even if you don't stay friends, you remember the time back when you were.

Maya Angelou passed away recently, and there were all kinds of tributes going around, with many posts of some of her more famous quotes. The one I chose, along with what seemed like thousands of other people, was "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." I chose it because I agree with the sentiment - my nearest and dearest are the people who make me feel my best, who make me feel important and cared for, and I am incredibly thankful for that. I hope they feel the same way.

Tape love

Last year, in my frenzy to watch movies before all the major awards started being handed out, I hadn't been doing much book reading. With only so many free hours in each day, I usually fixate on one form of entertainment at a time. So, having reached my movie watching goal a little early, and thanks to some generous electronic-book-friendly Christmas presents, I started tackling some new books in December. And I've been averaging about a book a week so far this year.

It just so happens that the two of my favorite recent reads, Eleanor & Park and Love Is A Mix Tape, both of which I very much enjoyed and have recommended to folks who have expressed a similar book taste, had me reminiscing for the lost art of the mix tape. Then I started reading Mad World: An Oral History of New Wave Artists and Songs that Defined the 1980s and, well....I saw a theme.

Eleanor & Park is a lovely story about first love, forged out of a shared taste in music, and solidified over mix tapes. Love Is A Mix Tape is the memoir of a relationship, with chapters framed using various mixed tapes that the couple made each other. Mad World, is, as the full title suggests, an oral history of music, mostly from the 1980s, framed around a handful of songs. Maybe not coincidentally, there are artists that make an appearance in all three books. And it has me all nostalgic about my old tapes.

Making a mixed tape was an act of love - because it took so much time to make one. You couldn't just click 12 songs from a list and burn them on a CD, you had plan ahead, making sure the running times for the songs on each side of the tape was right, so you wouldn't end up with too much dead time at the end, or that one side cut off a song before it ended. You had to sit next to your recorder to start and stop each recording. You had to spend TIME - so even if you told the person "no big deal, I thought you might like these songs" - it WAS a big deal. You would never make a mix tape for someone you didn't care about. Even if it was just a copy of a mix tape you made for yourself - you still had to take the time to make that copy.

So, if I made a mixed tape for you back in the day, know it was because I thought highly of you, and your taste in music. And to those who made tapes for me, in case I didn't say it at the time - thanks! Thank you to that friend in high school who made a tape of The Bangles Different Light for me - I still love that album. (And my favorite songs are not the biggest hits.) Thank you to the different friend who gave me a tape of the hits in Canada in 1986, which included Rumors by Timex Social Club, Lessons in Love by Level 42, and of course songs from Corey Hart and Glass Tiger. Thank you to the friend who made me the mix tape that introduced me to INXS, and my great love of the late 1980s, Michael Hutchence. Thank you to the guy who gave me that mixed tape of rock en español songs- I didn't get the hint at the time- but it was very nice of you. And though not a mixed tape, thank you to my stepmother for giving me that Escape Club tape as a present the first day we met. It's a tape I still own - not so much for the music, but as a keepsake memory.

So many of my friendships have been forged around a shared love of music. I have had way too many long phone conversations or online chats with friends that consist mostly of playing or sharing links to music we love. And I really love how just reading a mention about a song I love can so easily lead to me reminiscing about a time long ago and far away.

Now excuse me while I go dust off some of those albums I haven't shown love to in awhile. (And if you too are a product of the 80s, check out the excellent mixtape put together by the authors of Mad World... I'll be over here embarrassed that the only "rap" I know all the words to is from Wham!)